Fatherly guilt

Anna's back in the hospital again. Check out http://annamarietrinko.blogspot.com for the latest updates on that.

She went in there Tuesday, so it's the second night of having Jessica and Anna at the hospital and me at home with the two older girls. I'm starting to feel a lot of guilt that I want to be anywhere but where I am.

When I'm at home with the older girls, it's for the not-so-pleasant times of the day, namely the beginning and end of it. The morning routine is seldom fun. The nighttime routine can be exhausting between baths and kids who don't want to sleep.

When I'm at the hospital with Anna, I'm reminded that 5 months old isn't my ideal age for a kid, especially a sick one. I do better when I can laugh and play with a child, not try to rock her when she's been screaming for an hour.

So the guilt will hit a new level tomorrow. I'm going back to work for about five hours each day. I'm sure it's selfish, but I've convinced myself I'm better at the hospital and at home if I have some time each day not devoted to worrying about the kids. It's the same reason I think I'm a better father working than I ever would be as a stay-at-home dad: That distraction in the middle of the day keeps me fresh.

Hopefully it's the right choice. I did the same thing when Anna was first born after we got through the first couple of rough days. I haven't felt much guilt about that. I'm sure there will be people who don't understand how you can leave your sick baby in the hospital and not be there with her. I probably would be among them generally. I suppose one can only spend so many hours feeling helpless in a hospital room, wrenching your neck, your back and your emotions before you give up on it.

Apparently, ‘green’ must be the new ‘cheap’

http://www.limaohio.com/articles/save_33219___article.html/don_cheap.html

David Trinko: Apparently, ‘green’ must be the new ‘cheap’

She left her bedroom light on again, along with the TV in there. It was time to talk about doing the right thing.

I brought our 7-year-old daughter back to her room and told her how important it was to turn things off when we're done with them. It's a valuable lesson she shouldn't ever forget, I said.

"Is it so we can save the planet, Daddy?" she asked.

I pondered for a second before responding, "It's so I can save a few bucks."

I'm cheap. Some people might prefer other terms, such as thrifty, frugal or fiscally responsible. But I don't mind admitting I'm just plain cheap.

My daughter's comments opened my eyes, though. I'm also green, that popular buzz-word for everything environmentally friendly.

It's not that I'm a tree-hugger or anything. The most contact I make with trees is bumping my head on branches when I mow the lawn. I'm not opposed to nature's beauty and scenic rivers or anything, either.

When I reuse a bag from the grocery store to bring my lunch to work, it's to save money, not cut back on my carbon footprint.

When I turn the water on and off when I'm brushing my teeth, it's to cut the water bill down.

When I recycle bottles and cans, it's because my town picks them up for free, so the trash doesn't count against my bag limit.

There's a simplistic beauty in it all: Doing right by the environment also does right by my wallet.

I've recycled newspapers for as long as I can remember. It's not motivated by fear that carbon dioxide will run rampant if we don't save a few trees. It's driven by knowing newsprint prices go down when there's more recycled paper available. It's a purely selfish act, really, knowing my wage is more secure when we don't spend as much on paper.

I'm able to satisfy both my cheapness and my laziness when I replace old-style light bulbs with energy efficient ones. For the price and their lifespan, I'd have to spend more on regular bulbs. Then there's the bonuses of saving money on my electric bills and spending less time on ladders.

We certainly don't have a money tree in the backyard - a fact I've made painfully aware to my daughters. If we did, it would help reduce smog and air pollution.

Until someone gives me some seeds for this type of tree, I'll continue my cheap ways. If it helps save the planet, it's a win-win. I'll happily save some green along the way.

How family holiday traditions get their start

http://www.limaohio.com/articles/displays_32449___article.html/display_one.html

David Trinko: How family holiday traditions get their start

It started like any great family holiday tradition should. No one wanted to do it but Mom, and everyone was going to go. Most of all, we were going to enjoy it, whether we liked it or not.

With that in mind, the family packed into the minivan, or "The Weekender" as I like to call it, for a tour of the various Christmas lights displays near our home.

It reminded me of trips we took as kids, as Mom and Dad packed the seven of us into the ugly green van. We'd drive around nicer neighborhoods in nearby places, pointing out the fabulous and not-so-fabulous displays people placed in their yards.

No one seemed particularly excited about those trips at first. By the end of the trip, everyone felt a little more connected as a family. Some of us even dared to consider it fun.

We ran into those same issues with our own clan. If it weren't for the draw of "Bee Movie" on DVD, I'm not sure anyone would've piled into the back of The Weekender. And I convinced myself it was a worthy journalistic experience, snapping pictures and writing down addresses for our Christmas lights map on LimaOhio.com.

There's something special about seeing the elaborate displays some people put out in their yards to signify their fondness for this time of year.

Everyone has a favorite type. My wife loves the grand but simple displays, which honor the belief that less is more without actually using less. Our 7-year-old likes over-the-top displays with plenty of motion. And our 1-year-old and newborn girls like anything that won't wake them up.

As for me, I like tacky. I like over-the-top, spent-10-hours-setting-it-up, running-a-$1,000-electricity-bill displays.

It's probably personal envy. I don't have the patience or the creativity to really put up an impressive display. That, and the influence of Mrs. Trinko, explains our simple garland with white lights on our porch roof.

The 7-year-old really fought having fun on this trip, though. We wiggled along country roads with only kilowatt-fueled stars to guide us. When we found a nifty spot, we looked back at her and asked what she thought. She'd look down from her movie and tell us each display was "OK."

But the longer we drove around, the more enthusiastic that "OK" sounded. She even looked excited when we found one country display that certainly must double as a landing strip during December. By the time we headed home, she pointed out cool displays before we noticed them.

As we pulled into our driveway, I heard her shrill voice pop up from the back of the van.

"I think I like this one the best," she said.

Looking at our home and its modest display, I couldn't help but smile. Truly, our display was the best she saw. After all, it was ours, and it was home.

Then I realized she was talking about our neighbor's multicolored spectacle.

And so starts another holiday tradition: Dad assuming we're having a sentimental moment then realizing he misunderstood.