Repentant Solich?

Those T-shirts always made me laugh at my alma mater of Ohio University in Athens: "We're a drinking town with a football problem."

Who knew those two paths would ever cross so meagerly? Ohio football coach Frank Solich pleaded no contest to drunken driving on Monday after being found slumped over the wheel of the complimentary Nissan he drives, with the vehicle in drive, pointing the wrong way down a one-way street. See the Associated Press story.

The 61-year-old coach admitted on Tuesday he made a mistake. Perhaps it's just my word-aholism, but something about the sentence structure bothers me from this quote reported by Jason Arkley of the Athens Messenger:

“I would like to extend that apology, certainly because of the trouble and embarrassment that I’ve put many people in, including myself,” said a solemn-looking Solich, reading from a hand-written note. “I would like to apologize to all those associated with Ohio University. I would also like to apologize to the people of the Athens community. I would like to apologize to my coaches, their families, the players and their families.”

"I would like" is the part that bothers me. There is a not-so-subtle difference between telling your loved one "I'd like to apologize" and "I'm sorry." One is saying you will do it. The other is asking for forgiveness.

Athens has a unique culture that's admittedly very alcohol-driven. Yeah, it's ranked as the No. 2 party school in the country by the Princeton Review. Back in my days there, it constantly made top five on a number of lists. For a decent slice-of-life about this, check of this article by Joe Arnold of the Lancaster Eagle-Gazette.

The administration there seems to want to connect Solich to their efforts to correct this trend. They want him to become active in some intelligent drinking campaigns. (Advice for the coach... Tell them not to leave the car in drive while facing the wrong way down a one-way street.)

Truth be told, the kids are smarter than the coach on this count. Anyone who ever lived in Athens will tell you that you don't drive to the bars uptown. You walk. He certainly could've made the trip from uptown to his office at Peden Stadium with a minimum amount of hassle. It's not like he doesn't have a parking space in town.

I'm not going to come down from Mount Olympus on Frank Solich. I see a lot of sportswriters are cracking the whip at the university for not being harder on him, possibly firing him. I've been out drinking with enough sportswriters to know they've done the same thing. I've gotten behind the wheel after having a beer or two too many myself.

Besides, I like what Solich did for the program. He got me excited enough to buy season tickets. I had a great time watching competitive games for three of the five home games, including a shockingly thrilling win against a then-top 25 Pittsburgh squad.

Honestly, I don't think drinking is such a horrible thing, when kept under control. I haven't seen people coming out of the woodwork to say Solich had a real drinking problem. It sounds like he had one bad night where he did something stupid. I imagine the Nebraska administration has had a couple of those nights since essentially dumping Solich to get Bill Callahan. (Tom Osborne he's not.)

The real key is to learn and forgive. The man made a mistake. No one should hold anything over his head. We should merely take this as a reminder to be careful and smarter when we consume ourselves.

That's the only way the city of Athens, Ohio, can strip itself of the title of a "drinking town with a football problem."

Good-luck charm

My favorite NFL team, the Chicago Bears, extended their winning streak to seven games with a 13-10 win against Tampa Bay on Sunday.

It's a remarkable winning streak that puts the Bears up with the second-best record in the NFC at 8-3, and they lead the NFC North. They haven't lost since a 20-10 loss at Cleveland on Oct. 9.

Or, as I like to think of it, my favorite team hasn't lost since my first date with Jessica on Oct. 14. Apparently the stars are aligned for my happiness via my lady friend and my favorite football team. How's that for miracles?

What's most impressive about this connection is I'm not the one who realized it. Jessica mentioned it when she heard the Bears' streak was at seven wins in a row. We're joking that the Bears will probably only lose now on weekends where we've had some sort of tiff. So here's hoping the Bears never lose another game again.

Revisiting the man in the mirror

My 30th birthday came and went a couple weeks ago. I kept thinking about how I'd commemorate the occasion on the blog, what life-changing revelations I could share. Then I remembered something I wrote to mark my last big occasion, college graduation. [See "Some college lessons shouldn't be learned," The Post, 5-22-1997]

At the time, I was 21 years old and preparing to graduate from college. Little did I know I had three and a half years in Lima, failed journeys to Savannah and Delaware and a delightful three years in Northern Virginia ahead of me. I just wanted whatever I thought might make me happy.

What might I say to that man in the mirror today? What wisdom could I pass along to the 21-year-old me, whose legacy left at OU was a "mythical, wise-cracking, cynical shell of a man"?

Don't change for anyone.

That man tried too hard to turn into someone else, someone more acceptable by his peers. Bits of pieces of his true self remained there, no doubt. But the modern me spent much of his 20s recapturing the 1994 self, with his idealism, his occasional charm, his friendly awkwardness. I've realized it's OK to not fit into a group.

I've also realized wonderful friends last a lifetime, so long as you put the effort into keeping them. Sometimes I've failed at this, but the really good ones will always welcome you back.

Most of all, and oddly enough most recently, I've discovered there's a person out there who will love you for exactly who you are. The path to find that person can be challenging and frustrating. You'll give up several times between here and there. Once you find her, though, never let her go. Soulmates are hard to come by, and the best you can do is try to show her every day just how much she means to you.

It's funny how your perceptions of a milestone can change on a dime. A month and a half ago, I was dreading 30 like the plague. College had been about finding out who I was. The 20s had been about refining who I was. The 30s looked like a desperate era of loneliness and mourning that things didn't work out as you'd planned.

Now I have a better understanding of the purpose for my 30s. I'll spend each day trying to share more of myself with the people I care about.

A line from that 1997 column caught my attention again: "The only goal in his life is to be missed when he is gone." That's just as true now as it was when it was written some eight years ago, yet its meaning is so different now. At that point, it was superficial, wanting to be missed for my work accomplishments. Now it has meaning. Now I want to be missed for who I am and how I've affected the lives around me.

I'm off to a good start, and I'm looking forward to making the most of this new decade of life.