Column: Staging sets up unrealistic view of home

Staging sets up unrealistic view of home
BY DAVID TRINKO - Jan. 9, 2007

You never realize how small your house is until you’re ready to move.

You never realize how big it is until you’re preparing to sell it.

My wife and I recently received some exciting news that made it clear our current home was one bedroom too small. It became obvious we’d have to leave our cozy home behind.

The real estate agents stuck the sign in the front yard quickly enough, but that’s when the real work began. Selling a house is easy enough, but preparing it for sale is a literal pain in the back.

People looking for homes are often in the same predicament as my family. You look around, and you realize there isn’t enough room for all your stuff and all your family. You love your stuff. You love your family. Thus you decide to make room for both of them.

One of the real estate agents came to the same conclusion after looking around our humble abode. We have a beautiful house. We have a lot of beautiful stuff, much more beautiful stuff than the beautiful house will hold.

Thus began our journey into “staging” the house. It’s a cute term that’s very similar to how children look at divorce. Half of the stuff moves out of the house, yet you hope it gets back together with the other half some day.

Given Mrs. Trinko’s condition, she’s not that much help in moving half of our nice, heavy stuff out of the house. Our 5-year-old isn’t much help either, although she’s seen her mother in action enough to tell you when you’re about to hit a wall with a piece of furniture way too big for just one person to carry.

The idea of staging sounds simple enough. You’re removing unnecessary items from the home, so it appears much larger than it really is. It gives the illusion of space.

It also removes the illusion that a man lives there. Every piece of furniture I brought into our marriage is now residing in our garage. I’ve learned not to complain too loudly, though, as I fear I might reside there too.

I spent New Year’s Day packing up our office area, boxing up the remnants of the once-manliest room in the home. For staging purposes, it’s a computer/playroom for our daughter.

I admitted defeat about the time I plugged a Disney Princess television into the wall where my beautiful 32-inch television set used to play. You haven’t lived until you see Cinderella next to the channel number as you flip between the Gator Bowl and the Capital One Bowl. You gain a new perspective on college football when Ariel from the Little Mermaid swims across the screen as you turn up Kirk Herbstreit’s commentary on the Rose Bowl.

Eventually you get all of the useful, comfortable furniture and belongings out of the house. Your home looks the way you hope it does when company visits: Spotless, spacious and not even remotely close to how you really live.

You also realize something else … the house is huge. You don’t really need more rooms. It’s just more room for more junk to accumulate.

Still, I’ve accepted we’ll move before too long. We can’t really live like this, unless the real estate agent has some tips on staging our lives.

Until then, I know I can visit the rest of our furnishings in the garage. Some day they’ll reunite with our staged belongings in a real home again.