Off the market

After shopping around for the better part of 30 years, I’ve finally found what I was looking for.
Her name’s Jessica. She’s wonderful, and she knows it. I had to come up with a way to remind her that’s how I felt, too.
So I bought her a ring.
It’s a big, honkin’ ring, which can cut glass or a frisky fiancé’s left temple. And I’ve never been happier in my life.
At the risk of sounding sentimental, I’d like to share our story about Jan. 14, 2006.
Jessica and I headed to Holmes County, home of the Amish and little else, for a well-earned weekend getaway. Lissie, her 4-year-old daughter, stayed with Jess’s sister, and all was set for a nice weekend. Her employees chipped in for a gift certificate for most of our stay.
It would’ve been nice, but it needed to be perfect. I upgraded from a regular room to an “executive suite,” which was really quite sweet, with a fireplace, Jacuzzi and a 32-inch TV we didn’t watch all that much.
Saturday itself was nice. We went to a woodcutting museum, where it was warm, and enough sweets shops to give someone a cavity. Then we went out for a simple enough dinner at Der Fuhrer, err, Der Dutchman, restaurant where we exchanged pleasantries.
Here’s a little insight I have after the fact. I was nervous all day long, knowing what was going to happen, so I channeled that nervous energy into humor. Apparently I was pissing Jess off, but she was good enough to never tell me that.
After dinner, we returned to our oasis, the room. She wanted to check in with her sister to see how Lissie was doing. I wanted her to not do that. She won. I’ll get used to that.
Once she sat down to relax by the fire finally, I turned on the ol’ CD player to crank out a few tunes I’d put together.
First song… Billy Joel’s “Tell Her About It.”
Second song… James Taylor’s “How Sweet It Is.”
At this point, I went to a cupboard in the room and pulled out a box of chocolates from county-renowned chocolatier Christie Tabler, who’d delighted us with fudge in the past.
Jessica opened the box of chocolates. She saw the somewhat large white box in the center. She uttered the words every man wants to hear… “What is THIS?”
I told her to open it. She figured out what it was when she took off the top and saw a beautiful Mohogany jewelry box. Ring size, in fact.
She started crying. Whether or not I did is not terribly relevant to this story. (But I’m enough of a man to admit I did, for about 10 seconds or 10 minutes, depending on who you ask.)
I read her a little ditty I’d scribbled down to describe how I felt about her and Lissie in my life:

BEAUTIFUL
Jessica, you’re a beautiful person.
Your beauty isn’t just what people see from the outside. Sure, you have a radiant smile, dazzling eyes and immaculately soft curves.
That’s not why I love you, though. I see a beauty inside you that changed my life.
It’s evident as you calmly dress Lissie in the mornings despite her cries for more sleep.
It’s obvious in your reverence as I look down the pew at the two of you in church.
It’s apparent in your work, as you use compassion and determination to do the right thing.
You have a beautiful way of thinking about the world that’s clinical, cynical and cheerful, all in one.
I see that beauty in you, and I’m grateful God put us together.
I have little to offer you, yet it’s everything to me. I offer you my heart. I offer you my love. I offer you a beautiful life together.
Will you marry me?

She didn’t really answer. Maybe she did. It was hard to make anything out through all the blubbering, half hers, half mine. I just know that before the end of the song, “How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You),” she stuck her hand out for me to place the ring on the appropriate finger.
Being a stickler for tradition, and understanding the legality that if it’s a “gift” instead of a “proposal” I can never get it back, even if she says no, I said, “I don’t want to be a stickler, but I’m going to need to an answer.”
She said yes. She got the ring, and I got the best thing to ever happen in my life.
Third song… “You Say It Best (When You Say Nothing At All)” by Allison Kraus
That’s our song. We slow danced to it, and there was a magic there that even a man of many words such as myself can’t describe.
Fourth song… “Amazed” by Lonestar.
Fifth song… “Make You Feel My Love” by Garth Brooks.
Sixth song… “Thank You” by Dido.
That one would’ve been embarrassing to hear if she said no. “I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life”…
Seventh song… “Ice Cream” by Sarah McLachlan.
What can I say, “Your love is better than ice cream” just seemed appropriate.
Eighth song… “Lucky One” by Amy Grant.
Ninth song… “Wonderful Tonight” by Eric Clapton.
I just can’t burn a CD without Clapton.
Tenth song: “Open Arms” by Journey.
She’s got a thing for Journey. Sensitive men pick up on things like that.
Final song: “Unanswered Prayers” by Garth Brooks.
I’m not the biggest Garth fan in the world, but I can appreciate meaningful lyrics when I hear them. When I hear the line toward the end that says, “As we walked away, I looked at my wife, and then and there I thanked the good Lord for the things in my life,” my eyes tear up at realizing I have something that good.

I could tell you about the rest of the night, but then I’d have to start taking credit card numbers and verifying ages, and that’s not what this blog’s about. [Just kidding, Mom. We sat around and read the Bible.]
The date’s set for July 29 at a location already determined, but I’d hate to publicize it here because we’re already trying to figure out how to pay for 300 people we barely can stand to eat and drink at our expense.
Just kidding; we’ll be happy to have everyone there, so long as they give us at least $17 worth of gifts per person who will be eating and drinking on our dime.
Jessica wanted to chip in. She said we’ll have the most beautiful, amazing wedding that’s ever been pulled off in six months. She’s almost as good at qualifying things as I am, which is obviously part of the charm for me.

All kidding aside, for the time being at least, I’m happy to share my happiness with friends and strangers alike. For the last 10 years or so, I wondered if that perfect love was something you only find in sappy movies and catchy songs. Now I don’t have to wonder anymore. I can understand the pain and disappointment I’ve felt earlier in my dating years… they merely set me up for extreme joy I’m experiencing, waiting for the perfect woman for me.