Bad judgments

Tonight I went out with some friends who appeared to need a little prompting to improve their social standings. In each case, a male friend offered some intrigue to a lady in the establishment where we imbibed. In each case, I offered suggestions to help.

Case 1: Gentleman who broke up with his long-time girlfriend. Advice: If you're ready, get back on that horse. Talk to that girl who intrigues you. Ignored the advice the first time. Later changed his goal to a different young lady, who happily talked to him for nearly half an hour. Conversation later ended with this woman hanging on another guy. Declared a failure.

Case 2: Gentleman who showed some interest in a female anchor(ette?) of a local TV station. Gentleman spoke with her earlier in the evening, and she seemed engaged. Encouraged the gentleman to be mroe aggressive in his pursuit. Later ended with him asking her out, to hear "no." Declared a failure.

Case 3: Gentleman who showed some interest in a woman within our group. Gentleman truly missed his opportunity several months ago. Encouraged the gentleman to pursue this option in particular, in part because of indirect ramifications from Case 1. He did speak with her, but he didn't offer a full-go effort. Declared a draw.

So tonight, I feel somewhat responsible for three friends feeling worse than they had to, in part because they went after things. What's odd about this is I often try to convince myself I should pursue possibilities that a nagging voice in my head says might be unattainable.

Nagging voice in my head: 3. David: 0.

Aren't I punny?

Every so often, you run across a news story that permits some silliness and cleverness.

Such is the case when you're writing a story about someone challenging a chicken citation in a small town.

To save yourself the trouble of looking, the following puns were abused:
- fowl mood
- playing chicken
- fine feathered friends
- felt plucky
- hen-pecked
- place to roost
- hatched a theory
- crack open their arguments
- egg on their faces

It might not be the most pun-ridden writing I've ever done. I still attribute that to another story about a girls basketball team in Bluffton that arranged ducks in the coach's yard the night before games. But it's close, and it's gotten some chuckles in my neighborhood.

Pickup lines

While surfing the Web tonight, I stopped by "The Most Complete and Most Useless Collection of Pick-Up Lines." I was looking for some ideas... err, entertainment.

This amusing little Web site lists all of the bad pickup lines ever used. It also has categories claiming successes. You take it for what it's worth.

Here are a few that amused me:
- Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!
- Be unique and different, say yes.
- Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
- Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
- Are you accepting applications for your fan club?

As for me, well, I've never tried using a pickup line before. Given my fine record of success, maybe I shold try.

Downside of working at home

Most of the week, I have the pleasure of doing my job from home. It just makes sense, since I live in the area I cover for the newspaper. It's easier to do a good job if you're actually in the place you cover, since you'll see people and things as they happen.

I've discovered the downside in the last few hot afternoons. When you come back home and go to the fridge to get an icy cold beverage... it's awful hard to look at the beer and say "no." It ends up being the same little dance each day. I'll be back here around 3:30 or 4 with a bit of a thirst. I'll look in the fridge. I know the pop's up top in my fridge and the beer's on the bottom shelf. Still, I'll look down there. Then I'll look at the clock on the microwave and think, "Shoot. I'm still on the clock. No beer for now."

So I guess when it comes right down to it, the downside of working at home is I can't drink alcohol while I'm on the clock. I'm guessing I'd have that problem in the office too...

Lazy or philanthropic?

Now that I'm living closer to my family again, I've started taking advantage of it. I've begun hiring my nieces to come to my apartment and clean for me.

This past weekend, I had two of them, Katie and Desirae, over to work their magic. They're both in their early teens, and they're excited to make $20 for stuff they're supposed to do at home anyway.

When the proposition started a few weeks ago with Katie, I thought I was just being a wizz-bang uncle. I would've loved the opportunity to earn some cash when I was that age, and for the amount of work they're doing, they're making a little over $6 an hour.

Then lately I just started wondering... am I just lazy?

I'm sticking with philanthropic.