Gas it up... before 9 p.m.

I made the foolish mistake tonight of needing to buy gas after 9 p.m.

As it turns out, this is some kind of no-no in Ohio, particularly in major metropolitan centers such as Kenton, Ohio. There must be an immensely high rate of crime there, as the note on the pump said, "Must prepay after 9. No drive-offs! Thanks. Magt."

I'm not certain who Magt is. But if the pump won't start after 9 p.m., I'd say your odds of a drive-off tumble considerably. I also think the odds of me ever stopping off at Magt's store would go up if they'd upgrade to pay-at-the-pump.

I walked in to the store to prepay and explained to the girl that I wanted to fill the tank. She looked at me blankly and said, "You'll have to prepay." I looked back at her blankly and explained that I didn't know how much it'd take to fill my tank. Her look became blanker as she said, "You'll have to prepay."

At this point, I felt like a contestant on "The Price Is Right." I wanted to hit the actual cost of filling up my tank without going over. I guessed $15. Given that the genius at the counter wouldn't let me keep filling it up past $15, I suppose I created my own destiny there.

The pump, for some reason, would not hold open. You kept having to squeeze and unsqueeze the handle to get your bit of gasoline out of it. Every 11 cents or two seconds, you had to release and resqueeze. Reminded me of the amount of use I'm getting out of my stressball at work, come to think of it.

I eventually did get my $15 worth of gas into my tank and went on with my voyage home from visiting family members. But I think the next time someone asks me a completely valid question that deserves a more thoughtful response, I'll just respond, "You'll have to prepay."